This time, though, it was that I’d had enough of life without seeing and being with her every single damn day. In the years to come we’d slow drag to the songs above and more. I asked her to pay close attention to the 3:27-3:33 portion, representing my heart pleading its case to hers. The song was “ Now I Have Everything,” a luscious ballad performed by Cannonball Adderley on alto sax with a plush arrangement featuring Charles Lloyd on flute. I didn’t care who heard it I felt, I knew, that at some point Jewel would hear and get the message. The finishing touch was a declaration in sound, which I put on my answering machine to reflect my melancholy, my sorrow, my keening desire for my DCT -dream-come-true -to come back. Jon Lucien & Melba Moore “Lonely For You”Įarth, Wind & Fire “Beijo (Interlude)” (aka “Badiyah”) George Benson “You Don’t Know What Love Is” Sarah Vaughan & Take 6 “Setembro” (Brazilian Wedding Song) Steve Wonder & Take 6 “Why I Feel This Way” Luther Vandross “It’s Hard for Me to Say Goodbye” Here are the artists and songs on “The Tape”: If my attempt to woo her back through poetry, music, and love lyrics didn’t work, at least she’d have a memento of our passion. Rather than being hopeless, I was being a hopeful romantic by putting as much care, feeling, and skill into the mix of quiet storm songs as a chef mixing herbs and spices to craft a delectable meal. At the deepest chambers of my heart, it did. I spent an entire weekend curating that tape as if my life depended on it. That summer, I also made a Maxell XLII cassette tape of tunes that evoked memories of our erotic soundtrack. Since my own words were falling on deaf ears, I called upon the Old Testament’s Song of Solomon, Rumi poetry, and Shakespeare sonnets to reach her. I hadn’t yet evolved to the focused commitment that a woman of Jewel’s caliber deserves, so she told me she needed space. Like the time, nearly ten years before we walked down the aisle in 2008, I felt and thought I had lost her. Since I’m a writer, I love words, and they’ve come in handy over the 20+ years of our relationship. Whereas some couples need to take time apart to manage living together in peace, such as going to different places for work, Jewel and I have fun co-leading the Jazz Leadership Project together every day. In my case, eros is a woman named Jewel, my best friend, my sweet love. The title of last Monday’s post began with the expression “transforming love.” As today is Valentine’s, let’s continue our love theme by emphasizing romantic love, eros in Greek. Your voice soothes and excites me, your soul enriches my spirit. My inspiration and motivation, my angel clothed in human flesh, flesh that warms to my touch, and is blindingly beautiful to the eye. My Rose of Sharon, my Lily of the Valley, my cherie amour.

Goodbye, Best Friend by Cherie Bennett